Some days the world is just too much

Some days the anxiety hits despite the medication and despite the meditation and despite the puppy cuddles. It’s not because it was a bad day, but because sometimes the world is just too much.

He’s blurry and cuddly and mommy’s favorite boy

So today for the rest of the day I will cuddle up with my little noise maker and read my book club book. Hopefully tomorrow is better.

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The Angry Red Ball of Death

So…this morning my cats tried to kill me…

Let me set the scene:

It’s 8 a.m. and I am in bed all warm and snuggly with Cali on one side of me and Delbert on the other. I look at my phone and roll over and tell Logan to get up because it’s time for him to put on pants and go downstairs to go to work. At this point in time I realize that my phone hasn’t been charging so I check the charge point and then cuss a little under my breath and get up to replug in the charger back into the wall. I vaguely remember the cats messing around on my nightstand so this doesn’t surprise me. As I’m unplugging and plugging back in the charger a giant red angry ball of death appears and even Logan looks at me in utter confusion and ask what that was. Upon closer examination it appears that one of the cats (probably Hemingway, the kitten) has chewed on the cord and I almost not only electrocuted myself, but also almost caught my house on fire! After waking up for a minute I sent out a text and this was the response:

At no point were they (2 of them btw) concerned at all that I almost died.

Later after completely waking up I precede to catch them up on Hemingway’s productive day.

  1. Hemingway chewed through a cord which almost electrocuted me
  2. He got mad at me because he knocked over the cat food bowl and Delbert preceded to eat all of their food thus leaving them with nothing to eat for the rest of the day
  3. He tried to jump on my lap during lunch (do not for one second think this is out of love, I think he wanted my food) claws out and left multiple marks through my leggings.

In conclusion, this face:

is trying to kill me and everyone but me thinks it hilarious.

Pray for me. Quarantine is getting strange around here and I’m not sure I will survive being home with the cats all day much longer.

Quarantine Fun

Logan and I are just bundles of laughs during this time. Last night we spent 3 hours sitting on our back deck listening to “Secrets of a D-List Supervillain” by Jim Bernheimer and honestly…I loved it. I was working on a blanket and he was just hanging out. It’s something we haven’t done in a while because it seems like we always have something we have to go do. It’s weird to a lot of people, but we love to read and listening to audio books is something we both like to do in our spare time

I don’t know about you all, but if you like the anti hero (Dead Pool is of course the most famous), then you will like this book. I don’t want to give a full review because I don’t want to include any spoilers, but let me just leave you with these words: Olympians, world dominating bugs, Hill Billy Bobby.

Interested yet? You should be? Check it out dear readers.

I’m scared

I’m scared and I’m not supposed to want to talk about this. I’m scared not really for me, but for those around me who aren’t as healthy. For those I love who are older, who are autoimmune diseases, who are cancer survivers. I’m scared that Logan still has to go to base with all of this going on and can’t just do all of his work from home. I’m scared.

And I think we all should be. I think we all should be thinking about everyone we love and how our actions will affect them. I’m scared that people aren’t taking this seriously. I pray for all of them. I pray for Logan and I.

I made a really hard decision to not go to work right now with all of this going on and now I have to think to the future and what that means for Logan and I and our income. I have a lot of choices to make and they won’t be easy.

Stay safe everyone. Think of others. Do that project you have been wanting to do. Go on a walk and enjoy nature (with a safe distance from others). Call your loved ones and tell them how much you love them. Now is the time more than ever to think of others.

Sorry for my rambling. These are scary times and I’m not sure what to say to make it better, but please tell me in the comments what you are doing to stay in and stay safe!

Hello…?

So I haven’t written in a while and that’s because with everything going on I just haven’t had the energy to sit down and focus on writing. Sitting down to write felt like I would just be complaining and I don’t want to do that.

Things have definitely been weird here. Logan is working from home and the animals and I are loving that. I come home and there is a clean house and dinner and he has no idea how much I love and appreciate him for that. I have been stressed and forgot my anxiety medicine a couple times and that of course is not good for anyone. Coming home after work (yes, I know) and everything looks good and dinner is waiting just greatly improves my day right there. I will be very sad when he has to start going back to base.

Delbert does not know what social distancing means 😂

I hope you all are holding up well. I have been working on some crochet projects and getting some reading done when Delbert gives me the rare moment or two to myself.

Mom? Mom!?!?!

Social distancing is what Logan has been preparing himself for his whole life. I do actually need social interaction from time to time and am suffering. Pray for him. My inevitable melt down of the month is coming soon and it will be directed at him.

For today this is all. Everyone keep your head up, don’t lick any door knobs and let me know how are you getting through this tough period in history right now!

Sometimes I’m Witty

I swear sometimes I really am quite funny and clever. The problem is that I never know when those moments are going to appear so I mostly come off as awkward and strange. I’m okay with being awkward and strange. It means most people don’t want to be around and the ones who do are the ones I want around.

 

Back to the funny and clever part though. Saturday night I actually said many funny things and had my cousin laughing out loud at me. I know I was funny. I can’t remember anything I said. I even remember thinking I should write these down so I can put them in my blog. I wrote nothing down obviously and now all I have are memories of the funny, and no ability to recall what I said that was actually funny. Is this what getting old is like?

On a side note, I hate daylight savings time. The animals don’t understand that I only get about 1 day a week to sleep past 7 a.m. 5 a.m. is when they woke me up. In their defense, it felt like 6 a.m. to them, but I was not a happy camper. Now I get to wait another week and see if Logan and the animals will take pity on me and let me sleep in. My hopes are not set high…

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Anxiety and Avon

Anxiety sucks and so often it also comes hand in hand with depression. It has been an issue I have dealt with for a few years, but have been stubborn enough to always try and deal with all by myself. Here recently I had a night where I realized I couldn’t keep going on like this. I had to go back to the doctor and this time stick it out and find a medicine that works for me. Nothing like meeting a new doctor and having to tell him how dumb you were and you know it needs to change this time around. He was so nice and didn’t chastise me (he totally could have and I would have completely deserved it), but instead went over a few options with me and reminded me it might take some trial and error to find the best fit for me. I start the medicine tonight and I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous. I also know that I have a friend, a cousin and Logan I can talk to when I need to and I need to be better at that. That support system will be what gets me through this and helps me to start to feel like myself again. I miss me before the anxiety and I can’t wait to find that me again.

Exercise is something I also need to get back into the habit of doing regularly. it’s finally nice enough out that taking the dogs out for 20-30 a day will be much easier. No one wants to walk when it is raining and sleeting. Walking gives me a chance to exercise, clear the cobwebs from my mind and also catch up on some audio books I have in my queue.

Here lately Tuesdays have gone from being my stay home and be lazy day to the day when I need to get things done. I’m working on a new routine, but I believe a good long walk early in the morning will be on the agenda before breakfast and maybe a quick stop into one of my favorite places to grab an energizing tea and relax before the crazy begins.

The older I get, the more I seem to have to do and the more exhausting that gets. While I feel like I am slowly finding a new balance, it is taking some time and lots of patience. In the meantime dear readers, I’m off to deliver Avon books and get ready for an auxiliary meeting at the VFW! Until next time!

Thankful for Spring

Spring is back and I’m loving it! Spring means long walks with my little jerk faces (don’t let me lie, I couldn’t give them up if I tried!) and hopefully we all lose a little weight in the process!

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